Cassie always thought she would die … 

Cassie always thought she would die young. Her death would be something flashy, but not too flashy, just… different. She didn’t want to end up being a story on the evening news or a fail on the Internet. She just wanted to be someone that regulars at the coffee shop whisper about every now and then.

Her ideal death would be a pair of jeans so tight, that the lack of circulation would ensure her death. Subtle enough to be under the radar, but cool enough to be talked about.

The jeans would be a gift, of course, from an obviously unfashionable aunt that hadn’t seen her niece since she was in grade school. she would only be wearing them because the sweater-wearing social elite that was her family told her to. Cassie would begrudgingly agree to wear them to her family reunion, where her father would be telling the family a set of agonizingly corny jokes. He would be telling the joke about the monkey and the toaster when she would fall down on the vomit-colored linoleum– with stark white legs and a dead look on her face. It would be a beautifully ironic– Cassie never liked her father’s jokes, especially the monkey ones.

She’d be cremated, but not in one of those huge ovens everyone else gets cremated in, she’d have her friends fire up an old barbecue grill and burn her up there. Even after death, Cassie wanted her friends to remember her as a trendsetter.

Besides, the cremation-by-barbecue grill made it easier to have her funeral on her apartment building’s rooftop, so that it’d be kinda like Clerks but without the hockey. After her family stuffed her ashes in a urn, the afterparty would be on the rooftop, with a bathtub of PBR and burgers from the grill (Another grill, of course.). There would be bands like Audios Muchachos and Sparrow Implosion playing sets. Assuming they didn’t sell out. She promised herself that she’d die before she would see them sell out. Which would turn out to be true- Hopefully.

It wouldn’t happen like that. Turns out Cassie and her guy friends were having a rooftop party, and she had too much to drink.

She didn’t even notice the ledge.

She would be a story in the evening news, and an “LOL” on the internet. She would have her wake in a dreary funeral home and her body would be buried in a old fashioned cemetery. There would be no music for the reception, because presumably, both bands sold out.